Consumption of Michele’s Granola linked to growth of lustrous beards in men

Man with beard holding granola

Michele’s Granola has received a high volume of tags on social media with a common story: Men who have been consuming our granola regularly report that their facial hair has grown significantly. These newly hirsute gentlemen also report an increasing preference for organic whole foods, for shopping and eating exclusively at local farmers’ markets, and for playing vinyl records over mp3’s.

We sent our granola to an independent lab for testing, and it has been confirmed that the perfect hand-blended combination of organic oats & coconut, seeds and nuts appears to stimulate male facial hair growth.

Sean joined the Michele’s Granola team earlier this year completely clean shaven. After just days on the team—and after burning through at least one bag of Pumpkin Spice granola, possibly two or more—Sean noticed a lustrous beard was growing in where he had never had one before. Our brand ambassador Kenny shares a similar story.

It is important to note that this trend has not been evidenced in women and girls consuming Michele’s Granola, though we have received unverified reports of women’s hair growing longer and wavier, along with an increasing penchant to wear flowers in said hair.

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