News — April Fools

New Product Alert: Michele's Body Pillow 50-Pounder

New Product Alert: Michele's Body Pillow 50-Pounder

For years, Michele's Granola has offered 2.25-pound and 5-pound bulk bags of its award-winning granola to meet the needs of serious granola aficionados and families for whom our 12-ounce bag disappears too quickly. However, with more of our customers eating meals at home, even our largest size is often insufficient. We also learned from our customers that as they are spending more time at home, they're seeking new and novel ways to be comfortable. We're delighted to announce we have solved BOTH of these issues with the introduction of our newest product: Michele's Granola Body Pillow 50-Pounder.  We hand-scoop all varieties...

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Mechanization Comes to Michele's Granola!

Michele's Granola is delighted to announce through a partnership with BTH (Better Than Human) Inc, we are piloting new technology that will dramatically change our bakery. We're mechanizing! BTH has implemented a crew of robots in our kitchen with a specialized set of skills: Hands made to replicate human touch, making it possible for them to pat pans of granola to perfect consistency Excellent balance for stacking pans on oven racks and rolling the racks into our ovens Temperature gauges plus color and texture sensors so robots can manage quality control on freshly baked pans, looking for even, golden-brown baking...

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Consumption of Michele’s Granola linked to growth of lustrous beards in men

Consumption of Michele’s Granola linked to growth of lustrous beards in men

Michele’s Granola has received a high volume of tags on social media with a common story: Men who have been consuming our granola regularly report that their facial hair has grown significantly. These newly hirsute gentlemen also report an increasing preference for organic whole foods, for shopping and eating exclusively at local farmers’ markets, and for playing vinyl records over mp3’s. We sent our granola to an independent lab for testing, and it has been confirmed that the perfect hand-blended combination of organic oats & coconut, seeds and nuts appears to stimulate male facial hair growth. Sean joined the Michele’s...

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